(Warning: the author uses the word “joke” in a very loose sense.)

Q: What’s black and white and red all over?

A: Obama and Biden campaigning in Texas.

Thank you, you’ve been a great crowd! Drive safely!

This week’s on-line bonus, inspired by nothing in particular: Stephen Colbert interviews Congressman Barney Frank for the “Better Know A District” segment. Trivia bonus: Frank was the second person to do this segment with Stephen, and to date the only member of the Massachusetts delegation to sit down with the faux pundit (word is, Frank was so mortified by the piece he warned his colleagues off. Spoilsport).

The use of multimedia on campaign website is becoming more and more common. Poke around and you’ll find sites offering up entire radio and TV interviews, commentary on the issues, and on occasion, appeals for campaign support.
Timothy Lasker, Democratic candidate for state representative of the Barnstable, Dukes, and Nantucket district, has gone the latter route and has posted a short homemade video asking for campaign donations. Nothing wrong with that, but I think Mr. Lasker should have rehearsed a bit more first; his delivery is peppered with oddly placed pauses that suggest he’s from the Bob Hope School of Television Performance.
But hey, if it gets results, who am I to judge?
(Oh, right: I’m the obnoxious pundit. Carry on!)
PS: If you PC users found this video previously and couldn’t get it to fire up, that was due to a technical glitch that has since been fixed.

If you’ve driven down Route 28 near Falmouth Center lately, you might have seen a campaign sign promoting Robert L. Jubinville, a candidate for governor’s council. If the name sounds utterly unfamiliar, don’t worry, it’s not you; the guy is running for councilor of the second district, and Cape Cod is in the first district.
So what is that sign doing here? Good question, and one I’ve yet to answer despite the fact this is not the first time a rogue sign for an off-Cape candidate has sprung up on our turf. I recall in 2006 there was a campaign sign for someone running for an off-Cape office in that same general location, and a sign in Teaticket pitching for someone running for the US Senate in New Hampshire.
A word of advice to folks who host these outsider signs: knock it off. It’s obnoxious. If they aren’t running locally, they shouldn’t be cluttering up our lawns locally.

J. Gregory Milne, Democratic candidate for Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners, has launched his official campaign website.
This is another of those personalized Google pages rather than a proper website, and regular readers of this column know well that those do not impress me at all. I know, any web presence is better than no web presence, these things cost money, etc., but if other folks can put up a halfway decent-looking website with the same resources, then everyone should be able to do it.

I don’t mention this in my profile of Anastasia Welsh Perrino (appearing in this week’s Region section), so I’ll mention it here: she’s picked up several endorsements, and it reads like a who’s who of local Republicans. Ms. Perrino’s candidacy has been give the thumb’s up by John F. (Jack) Meade (Barnstable County Registry of Deeds), Scott W. Nickerson (the county clerk of courts), Michael D. O’Keefe (district attorney for the Cape and Islands), departing county commissioner Mary J. LeClair, and former state reps Thomas N. George and Shirley A. Gomes.
By the way: mark your calendars for Thursday, September 4, when Ms. Perrino will be at Dino’s Sports Bar in Mashpee for a meet-and-greet hosted by Dino Mitrokostas, County Commissioner Mary J. LeClair, and Sue Davenport.

State Representative Jeffrey D. Perry (R – Sandwich) also announced new endorsements, from the AFL-CIO and the Republican Liberty Caucus, “a national political organization working to change the direction of the Republican Party towards strengthening free markets, preserving individual rights and limited government,” so sayeth a press release from Mr. Perry.
Mr. Perry has also announced an upcoming lobster and clam bake on Sunday, September 28 from 2 PM to 5 PM. That’ll be held at American Legion Post 188 in Sandwich, and the food comes courtesy of Joe’s Lobster Mart.
The cost is $50 per person, and the proceeds go to benefit Mr. Perry’s re-election campaign. For more information, call 508-888-3094.

Political news, events, and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net

(Non-Trekkies, bear with me a moment.)
In the classic “Star Trek” episode “The Savage Curtain” (ep. 22, season three), an apparent recreation of Abraham Lincoln spots Lt. Uhura for the first time and remarks, “Ah, a charming negress.” He then immediately realizes he may have committed a serious social faux pas, but Uhura calms him.
“In our century,” she says, “we’ve learned not to fear words.”
Ah, but that’s the still-distant 23rd century, and we’re all stuck here in the 21st century, when words still scare the hell out of us.

The Scariest Word In America this month is “retard,” and it’s earned this honor thanks to the new comedy (and I must stress that point) “Tropic Thunder.” Already, the local news stations are hesitant to utter the word even in the most clinical and descriptive manner; in reporting on this story, an anchor on WHDH-TV last week only referred to it as “the R-word.”
In the film, Ben Stiller plays Tugg Speedman, an actor cast in a Vietnam War film. His previous movie, “Simple Jack,” in which he played a man we would gently call “mentally impaired” nowadays, bombed because he played the character (as Robert Downey Jr.’s character puts it) “full retard.”
“Retard” and its iterations get tossed about quite a bit, and that’s what’s got certain corners of society up in arms. Advocacy groups across the country are calling for protests and boycotts of the film due to its insensitivity toward people with mental disabilities.
Now, mind you, I have yet to see the movie myself, but that’s okay – that just puts me on an even playing field with the protesters, who by and large also haven’t seen the movie yet (the protests began last Wednesday, the same day as the movie’s release).
Therein lies my big problem with this activism. There is nothing at all wrong with these folks exercising their right to free speech, more power to them for wanting to keep the disabled from being reduced to cruel stereotypes, but why should I give their complaints any credence if they have no idea of exactly what it is they’re railing against? I had this same issue when people were protesting Kevin Smith’s “Dogma” without ever having so much as read a bootlegged copy of the script off the Internet.

(True story; Smith insinuated himself into a crowd of protesters – they had no clue he was the writer and director – and asked them why they were so peeved. The cause of their ire was typically vague and nebulous; they were mad because someone told them the movie made fun of Catholicism, and that was all they needed.)

Add the fact that they’re protesting a comedy and my distaste for this nation-wide outcry grows.
Comedy is a complex vehicle for self-expression. At its most benign we use comedy to gently amuse, and its most powerful, we use it to make pointed observations about the absurdities of the world around us. It’s a very sharp pin we use to pop balloons that are obstructing our clear view of life.
In that latter capacity is when comedy is at its best, as well as its most dangerous, because there’s someone on the receiving end of that poking finger, and there’s a very good chance that someone ain’t gonna like it. Oh, they’ll boast about their legendary sense of humor, but turn the crosshairs their direction? Vanishes as if by magic.
Exhibit A: “We all have great senses of humor,” Timothy Shriver, international chairman of Special Olympics, said in an AP story about the controversy, “but it’s not funny.”
Referring again to “Dogma” as a fine example of this: Smith, a devout Catholic himself, wrote the movie as a love letter to/critique of his faith, which he recognized as inherently beautiful but deeply flawed. He wanted to inspire people to consider the nature of faith and why religion can screw that up, and he used comedy as his messenger. Mostly all he did was get hate mail from people who didn’t want to be the butt of his joke.

(Oh, Irony Fairy, you do show up in the most unexpected places! Not only is sending hate mail an antithetical response from a religion that purportedly advocates love and tolerance and forgiveness, it neatly proved one of Smith’s points: Catholics are too damned self-serious and need to lighten up.)

Okay, Tim, let’s see if you find the humor in this: a mouthpiece for Special Olympics says he wants to use “Tropic Thunder” to start a national dialogue about mental disability and the harmful nature of the word “retard.” A protester hanging out in front of the Cape Cod Mall Cinemas holds a sign that has popped up at other demonstrations and neatly summarizes how the offended masses feel: “Ban the movie, ban the word.”
See? They don’t want a dialog, they just want the movie to vanish forever. Get it?
No? Not funny?
You’re right. It’s not.
The “ignore it and it’ll go away” theory is what landed a lot of mentally disabled people in fourth-rate “hospitals” for decades. It didn’t work then and it’s not going to work now. So by all means, Mr. Shriver, start and maintain a dialog, but trying to bury “the R-word” and pretend it never existed is not a dialog.

First, this week’s on-line bonuses: some great political humor from FunnyOrDie.com!

Back from vacation! And boy, nothing starts out a week off like spending an entire morning sitting in court waiting for the shmuck who broke into your house to plea out.
I rarely left the house last week, content to stay at home to play video games and watch DVDs with my wife, but on one of my few outings, I noticed a new billboard promoting Oliver P. Cipollini Jr.’s candidacy for governor’s councilor of the first district. It boasted what looked like a URL for a brand-new campaign website (www.cippici.com).
Don’t be fooled; it’s the same lame site as before, but now with Portuguese and Spanish translations of the original English text. Yawn.
This is totally a “Dude, come on” moment…you can spring for a billboard but not to pay a high school kid to make a decent campaign website?

A quick thank-you to Johnson String Instruments in Falmouth for providing a place to sit down and chat with David Moriarty, Democratic candidate for state representative of the Barnstable, Dukes, and Nantucket district. Coffee Obsession, one of my standby meeting spots, was very full when I met with Mr. Moriarty Tuesday morning, so we were invited to use the store before it opened for the day.
Gotta say, there’s something undeniably classy about conducting an interview surrounded by violins and cellos.

A quick word or two about Monday’s town hall meeting with Governor Deval L. Patrick. First, it was about 30 minutes too short. Yes, I am actually lamenting the brevity of a public forum…usually these things go on way too long, but this time around I feel like there was not enough opportunity for John Q. Public to get their five minutes with the gov.
Maybe that’s because so much time was taken up by people who maybe could have (and should have) used more formal avenues to connect with the corner office. Did Suzanne McAuliffe, chairman of the Yarmouth Board of Selectmen and president of the Cape Cod Selectmen and Councilors’ Association, really need to feed the governor what sounded like a planted question about the Clean Water Act?
Well, I guess if it was indeed a planted question, then the answer would be yes, but still…Patrick quipped about Ms. McAuliffe showing up sans her “standard list of nonnegotiable demands,” so she’s obviously got connections.

Then there was Cliff Carroll of WindStop.org, who asked Governor Patrick for help in getting some hard answers about the Cape Cod Wind Farm. Surely WindStop.org or the Alliance to Protect Nantucket Sound have already gone to the governor about this time and again. What was the purpose of bringing it up again at the forum?
The average person does not have many opportunities to connect directly with the governor. This forum should have been about them, not about elected officials or spokesmen for lobbying organizations grabbing quick face time and cheap publicity.

And where was Governor Patrick before his town hall meeting-style thingee on Monday? He was dropping by Glenn S. Paré’s fundraiser in Sandwich!
So, for those of you keeping score, Mr. Paré saw State Representative Jeffrey D. Perry’s (R – Sandwich) special guest of a former governor (Mitt Romney) and raised him a sitting governor. Mr. Perry is now planning an end-of-summer barbecue…what will Mr. Paré do to counter that?
Might I suggest a pig roast boasting a wild boar hunted in the wilds of Alabama and shot by the candidate himself?

State Representative Matthew C. Patrick (D – Falmouth) invites you – yes, you! – to his Labor Day picnic fundraiser at the Navigator Club (a.k.a. the Portuguese American Club) in East Falmouth. Join him starting at noon and, for $50 a pop, you can dig into all kinds of picnicky-type foods and meet Mr. Patrick.
For more information, call 508-540-6308.

Jacob Ferreira, unenrolled candidate for state representative of the Barnstable, Dukes, and Nantucket district, has added a new video interview on his campaign website. Check it out here!

Daniel J. Larkosh, a Democratic candidate for the above-mentioned state rep seat, has added some new stuff too: fresh endorsements! The Coalition for Social Justice and Marine Engineer’s Beneficial Association have both thrown their support behind Mr. Larkosh’s candidacy.

In case you haven’t thought to check back since I first announced this, Barnstable County Commissioner candidate Sheila R. Lyons’ official campaign website is up and running. It’s a solid little site, pleasant to look at, easy to use, and has a fair amount of content.

Priscilla J. Young, Republican candidate for Barnstable County Register of Probate, posted audio from a recent interview for WQRC’s “Sunday Journal” program. Go give it a listen.

Ms. Young’s rival in the primaries, Anastasia Welch Perrino, also posted a “Sunday Journal” interview on her website.

Is US Senator John F. Kerry ducking his Democratic rival Ed O’Reilly?
Mr. O’Reilly reported this week he and Senator Kerry were at a fundraiser in Beverly, and when he approached the senator about a requested debate, Kerry reportedly beat a hasty exit and gave his primary opponent the old “My people will call your people” line.
Roger Lau, Kerry’s campaign manager, “then proclaimed that calls were made to [my] campaign office that very day. This was absolutely not true.” Mr. Lau then allegedly said Kerry was traveling this week and wouldn’t be able to touch base with O’Reilly’s people until next week, because apparently their phones don’t work outside of Massachusetts.
Don’t feel bad, Ed, I’ve had similar problems. I’ve made a few requests for an interview with our incumbent junior senator and was told, “We’ll get back to your shortly,” which I think is code for, “Go pound sand, we only talk to the Boston Globe.”
Mr. O’Reilly, however, is being more accommodating, and I’ll be sitting down to chat with him next week. That interview will run in two weeks, but next week kicks off our bi-annual series of political profiles with the aforementioned Ms. Young and Ms. Perrino.
After that I’ll have our four Democratic candidates for state representative of the Barnstable, Dukes, and Nantucket district, and then the Democratic candidates for the Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners…or at least some of them. A few folks have been oddly elusive and have yet to return my phone calls offering free publicity.
Yeah, I don’t get it either.

Political news, events, and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net

I chanced across this letter to the editor in one of the Enterprise’s rivals, and it jumped out at me:

Good to see a change in leadership in your company. I fervently hope this will bring some rational adjustments to editorial policies and end your nauseating infatuation with everything Obama, your inability to notice that the world has actually gotten colder since 1998, and the rest of your socialist agenda. Until then, I vote with my wallet and send my advertising dollars to other publications.
Arthur Desrosiers
West Barnstable

This is far from the first time I’ve seen this attitude. I’ve seen it directed toward my own paper on occasion in the form of an irate letter chiding us for our shamelessly liberal stance on (insert issue du jour here). The accuracy of the reporting is often called into question. Such letters typically end with, “…and I refuse to read your newspaper ever again!”
Let’s distill this kind of complaint to its essence: a reader possessing, obviously, a sharply contrasting political philosophy determines that, because we do not think as he thinks, our reporting is biased and inaccurate. Ergo, why should he bother reading what we have to write?
My wisenheimer response: Okay, pally, then go read the local conservative newspaper instead. Oh, wait…THERE ISN’T ONE! We own your butt, sunshine! Bwa-ha!
My more measured and reasonable response: Isn’t our differing point of view all the more reason to read our stuff? After all, a person who fancies himself an intelligent adult would actively seek out all sources of information, even if those sources presented information that is in direct conflict with the individual’s accepted knowledge base, would he not?
Not according to Bill Bishop’s book The Big Sort – Why the Clustering of Like-Minded America Is Tearing Us Apart. In part, Bishop claims that Americans are increasingly seeking out their “own kind” (be it defined by race, social class, politics, etc.) and posits that we do this in the name of seeking comfort; we are being driven by our atavistic fear of “the other” to ferret out geographic areas where the presence of “others” is minimal because it provides a sense of security.
As a result, Bishop says we are effectively insulating ourselves from opinions that do not jibe with our own…and since opinions are at the bottom of the data food chain (below information, with is subjective, and facts, which are objective) more and more Americans are living their lives based on a highly diluted and custom-tailored version of the truth, and that’s the way they like it.
Conservatives, for example, don’t want to be bothered with listening to Obama’s ideas directly from the man himself, in their unaltered form; what they know about Obama is spoon-fed to them by Fox News, which presents the facts only after they’ve been translated into Conservativese using Rupert Murdoch’s personal Rosetta Stone. The heavily spun end result is a perverted version of the truth so jumbled and fragmented that Fargo North, Decoder on his best day couldn’t piece it back together.

(I’m not saying the dreaded “liberal media” doesn’t do it, too. I’m just using the above as an example because I think Fox News is comprised largely of idiots and I like mocking them.)

To paraphrase the band Extreme, there’re three sides to a story: yours, mine, and the truth, the latter of which is usually somewhere in-between the versions portrayed by the yours and mine factions…which means when you turn your back on an opposing perspective, aren’t you also turning your back on the truth?
You don’t have to like what the newspapers are telling you, Mr. Desrosiers, but that’s even more reason not to ignore them.

I open this week with a hello to reader Bud Godfrey of Wareham, who sent me a very nice note about how much he enjoys the column. Thanks!
He also asked me about my standing beef with our former governor, Mitt Romney. Since Romney may be on US Senator John McCain’s short list of VP considerations, I shall explain.
First, let me say that I did in fact like Romney’s stance on financial issues, his efforts to make state government more efficient and less wasteful, and his tough-on-crime attitude. However, I think the man’s stance on social issues is at best stagnant and at worst regressive (I could fill this column ranting about that).
I also find the man too flagrantly opportunistic for my tastes. Granted, that could be said of all politicians, but his eyes were clearly on the Presidential prize way too early in his gubernatorial career…don’t know about y’all, but I’m damn tired of this trend of governors blatantly using Massachusetts as a stepping stone in their political careers.
(In fairness, let it be known that I will express equal scorn for Governor Deval L. Patrick in the event US Senator Barack Obama wins the Presidency and Deval jumps ship for a sweet cabinet gig. Yeah, he’s saying he’ll stay put now, but let’s see how quickly that tune changes come November.)
And, I have to add, I was simply appalled at how Liberal Ol’ Massachusetts became Romney’s running punchline in early campaign speeches to curry favor among the diehard Red States. That was a slap in the face to every single voter in the state – Republicans included! You live here too – and I don’t want to ever support a candidate who treats his constituents with such open disrespect.

Speaking of the Presidential candidates, it’s time for this week’s on-line bonus!

You approve it? Really? Senator McCain, have you actually SEEN this ad?
Drawing a line connecting the dolts — sorry, the dots — that are Britney Spears and Paris Hilton to Obama is a HUGE stretch. For starters, Obama is not blonde, and I’m fairly certain he’s never had a boob job.
He’s also not a vapid, shallow twit that has absolutely no sincere desire to better the world around him. Is he looking for attention? Absolutely, but be honest, McCain: so are you, and I don’t think you’d sniff at the media were they fawning all over you like you were the best thing to roll off God’s factory floor since Samuel Adams Irish Red.
(Seriously, have you tasted that stuff? It’s awesome.)
Since I’m critiquing your beefs against your opponent, Senator McCain, you want to lay off the whole, “I was in the military so I’m better suited to lead America” riff? That argument presumes that in order to lead the country, the most important quality is a grasp of military operations. It could be argued that the economy is the most important issue right now, and to the best of my knowledge, sir, you’ve never worked as an economist. Ergo, you’re just as ill-suited for the gig, just in a different way.
So there, nyah.

Back when Jeffrey K. Beatty announced his candidacy for US Senate, I remarked that he’d need to get off-Cape in order to overcome the Boston media’s tendency to overlook major candidates from the Cape.
Well, now it’s time to start showing some love for the locals! Last time I checked, Mr. Beatty had no Cape-area stops on his events calendar…now that he’s all alone in the primaries, I think it’s time to re-familiarize himself to the folks in his back yard.

Every so often, I just have to say, “Dude, come on.”
This week the dubious honor goes to Glenn S. Paré, Democratic candidate for state representative of the fifth Barnstable district, who really needs a proofreader for his website.
Go there and you’ll see right on the main page header that he is running for state “representive,” and in his opening statement he touches on “issues of waste water, plumes of poisons in our ground water, air pollution from outdated power plants, and more more.”
More more? Really really?
I might point out more such goofs if only there was anything else on the site. Aside from a simple résumé, there’s bupkiss on his endorsements, campaign schedule, or even his issues or contribution pages.
Dude. Come on. This kind of shoddiness isn’t going to impress voters (save perhaps the diehard Democrats who blindly vote the party line).

Okay, I’m done being a jerk toward the guy, so time to be nice. Mr. Paré is holding a fundraiser Monday, August 11 and his special guest will be none other than Governor Patrick.
That event will be held at the Hemisphere Restaurant in Sandwich and comes with a suggested minimum donation of $100 per person. For more info, call 508-420-9980 or zip an e-mail to cerronel@mindspring.com

Political news, events, and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net

So, you want to join the military, huh?
Too fat? Eh, we’ll let it slide.
Too old? Hm, I can’t tell if your birth certificate says 1960 or 1980. Let’s call it 1980, shall we?
Felony record? What were you in for? Oh, that’s not that bad. Welcome aboard.
Say, fella, that’s a mighty limp wrist you’re sporting. What’d you think of “Mamma Mia”? Like it, huh? Would you say it was fabulous? You would, would you? I’m sorry, Uncle Sam doesn’t have a Mincing 3rd Regiment of the Rainbow Brigade. Get out of this recruitment office and take your gay with you before you get it all over this nice young man right here.
Oh, woman. Sorry. Uh, you have to leave too. I don’t want to catch the AIDS from you, you understand. Have a nice day. If you hurry home you can still catch “Ellen.”

If Elaine Donnelly, president of the Center for Military Readiness is to be believed, the only thing this country’s homosexuals have to offer the military is a ready source of squirming discomfort for the straighties in the Armed Services.
During her recent testimony before House Armed Services personnel subcommittee hearing on the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy – the feeble loophole that lets gays serve as long as they’re not so flamboyant about it – Donnelly conveyed a staggeringly myopic perspective on the impact of letting homosexuals serve openly. She spoke of the “sexualized atmosphere” openly gay soldiers would create, of African-America lesbian rape gangs “indoctrinating” new recruits (double score for symbolically whizzing on two subgroups!), of the potential for AIDS to decimate the troops.
Retired US Army Sergeant Major Brian Jones added his own dose of “reality” when he spoke of the ooginess homosexuals could cause, say, in cases in which skin-to-skin contact among soldiers is necessary to endure extreme cold-weather operations (because, as any straight man will tell you, touching a naked guy is SO much more comfortable when you know the other dude isn’t enjoying it).
I got a big chuckle when Donnelly fretted about the “inappropriate passive/aggressive actions common in the homosexual community” – what, was she worried gay soldiers wouldn’t be aggressive/aggressive enough? – and how the “San Francisco left, who want to impose their agenda on the military” would force out those of differing viewpoints, i.e., homophobes, who I imagine would really be the only people who would strongly object to serving alongside a homosexual.
Yeah, can’t let that happen, can we?

One must note with all the irony available in the immediate vicinity that the Center for Military Readiness “advocates high, single standards in training, assignment policies that are consistent with military realities as well as American cultural values, and sound defense spending priorities that strengthen morale, discipline and readiness.” Apparently “all men are created equal” is no longer an American cultural value.
But I digress.

The Houston Chronicle said Donnelly’s testimony was chock full of the “embarrassing pseudoscience” anti-gat activist regularly employ in their backwards efforts to stop homosexuals from wedding, adopting kids, joining the military, wearing white after Labor Day, whatever “American institution” they’re currently trying to protect from destruction. “Donnelly blundered her way through a series of insults, myths and odd fantasies that prompted repeated rebukes from the bipartisan committee,” the Chronicle reported.
Pennsylvania Congressman Patrick Murphy (D), an Iraq vet, chided Donnelly for suggesting American soldiers “aren’t professional enough to serve openly with gay troops while successfully completing their military mission.”
New Hampshire Congressman Carol Shea-Porter speculated that “10 to 15 years from now, we’re going to look back on this hearing, and we’re all going to be embarrassed.”
(The question is: are they so embarrassed now that they’ll have the political courage to repeal a policy that was asinine at the time of its inception and has only grown more so?)

In a rebuttal piece on the National Review On-line, Tommy Sears wrote, “The object of the hearing was to demonize as morally repugnant (bigoted, homophobic, or worse) anyone who dared disagree with the Democrats’ and homosexual activists’ point of view.”
Yeah, because demonizing a segment of the American population because they hold radically different points of view? That’s just wrong.

I didn’t find this in time to run it last week, so I’ll start this week off by announcing that David Moriarty, Democratic candidate for state representative of the Barnstable, Dukes, and Nantucket district, has launched his official campaign website. It’s not a bad effort…light on content but pleasing to look at and very easy to find your way around.
This Sunday Mr. Moriarty will hold a campaign fundraiser at the Navigator Club in East Falmouth. That runs from 4 PM to 8 PM and will feature a live performance by Entrain. Admission is $25 per person and the proceeds will go to benefit Mr. Moriarty’s campaign.

Sheila V. Lyons, Democratic candidate for Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners, has also launched her campaign website.
The URL is listed on a very smart-looking postcard Ms. Lyons is sending out to the folks who signed her nomination papers. Gotta say, nice move; it adds a personal touch and helps keep her name alive in people’s memories (because, honestly, I reckon more than a few people sign nomination papers without knowing too much about the candidate).

As the saying goes: but wait, there’s more! Lance W. Lambros, incumbent county commissioner candidate, has his campaign website up!
The site looks nice and I dig the page that explains the various elements of county government, but the link to the Cape Cod Chamber of Commerce is kinda throwing me. What’s up with that, Lance? You getting any kickback I should know about? Hmmmmm?
One word of free advice, though: change the color of your drop-down menus; white text against a mostly white background = invisible text.

THIS WEEK’S ON-LINE BONUS! In case you missed this gem: one of the videos featured on “The Colbert Report” as part of its “Make John McCain Exciting Green Screen Challenge.”

He’s Stephen Colbert, and he approves this video.

This week’s final item is also related to the Presidential campaign, specifically to US Senator Barack Obama’s “Fight the Smears” website, which was established to combat the various and often wacky rumors surrounding his campaign.
The site includes a short list of names outing the individuals allegedly behind some of these rumors, a list the new website Stop-Him-Now.com calls “paranoid” and “Nixonian” (a rather ironic accusation, considering Nixon was a Republican).
Stop-Him-Now.com was established to “save America from the radical leftist agenda” of Senator Obama, and it’s worth checking out if only to see the worst possible way to present a counterpoint. In addition to more serious and respectable fare such as critiques of Obama’s platform and speeches, the site also features some outrageous (and not in a good way) “satire,” such as a series of animated shorts that speculate what life in the White House would be like with Obama in the Oval Office.
To give you an idea of what to expect: the first episode features Obama’s meeting with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, who is preparing to leave on another fact-finding mission to Amsterdam to better help him prepare a bill to legalize prostitution in the US.
Oh yeah. Classy.

See? It’s funny! Because Obama looks goofy! And he’s got enemies! And you can join his enemies list to show how much you disagree with his platform! What, you don’t get it? C’mon, man, this stuff is gold…

Political news, events, and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net

Like nine out of ten Americans, I caught “The Dark Knight” this past weekend. Unlike five out of ten Americans, I did not lose precious sleep to catch a midnight showing…and I sure as hell didn’t cough up ten times the face value of a ticket on eBay for the simple privilege of being among the first to catch the flick.
I wish I were making that up, but no; people were scalping “Dark Knight” tickets for $100 a pop. Those fool enough to make such a purpose are the same kind of deluded boobs who camp out overnight for iPhones, thinking that the world at large will actually applaud that sort of determination, or at least envy his shiny new toy. Wrong on both counts, bubbi.

But anyway. “Dark Knight.”
“Iron Man” rocked my world for sheer Saturday matinee popcorn fare, but “The Dark Knight” was operating on a whole other level. This was a superhero movie by default; at its heart was a gritty, complex, sophisticated crime drama that boasted a truly terrifying villain in Heath Ledger’s Joker. This is one of the precious few movies I’ve seen in ages that I could easily watch again right now.
But I’m not here to extol the film’s many virtues.
No, I’m here to ask the media, whenever they choose to do any story touching on the world on comic books to A) do your damned research, and B) please please PLEASE stop referencing the old “Batman” TV show.

As a shameless comic geek, I am often driven to the brink of madness when I see clear evidence of the media giving comics such slipshod treatment. Not that anyone would ever listen to my complaints…after all, I’m just some comic-reading dork. The media will pander to me on occasion, covering “stories” such as the death of Superman storyline in 1992 and the more recent death of Captain America storyline, but they won’t go that extra step and treat such stories as anything but a fluffy lark.
(PS: Wasting airtime on the deaths of major superheroes in comics is laughable; any comic reader worth his salt knows bloody well Comic Book Heaven has a revolving door and no one ever stays dead. It took Superman less than a year to return from being “dead.”)
The research angle usually vexes me in the form of the print media referring to Spider-Man as “Spiderman.” I actually once had an argument with a former copy editor on that very topic.

ME: Hey, “Spider-Man” is misspelled in this caption. The name’s hyphenated.
COPY EDITOR: Are you sure?
ME: Positive (said the man who’s been reading Spidey comics for 35 years).
COPY EDITOR: So, is “Superman” hyphenated too?
ME: No, “Superman” is one word.
COPY EDITOR: Why is “Superman” one word but “Spider-Man” hyphenated?
ME: I don’t know. Because Siegel and Shuster chose a one-word name for Superman and Lee and Ditko chose a hyphenated name for Spider-Man.
COPY EDITOR (as if this is all my fault): Well, that doesn’t make any sense.
ME: I didn’t name the characters.
COPY EDITOR: I’m just saying it should be consistent.
ME: Why? They’re names! That’s like saying you should only spell any given name one way!
COPY EDITOR: I just think it’s stupid.
ME: HULK SMASH!

Okay, I made up that last part. Sadly. I wanted to smash, as badly as I wanted to smash media outlets for the nonsense of the “S&M Black Canary Barbie” story.
It goes like this: Mattel recently released a “collector’s edition” Barbie doll based on the DC Comics character Black Canary, and immediately religious groups like Christian Voice got in a knot over the character’s (admittedly) racy appearance.
When WBZ got hold of the story, they made the tragic mistake of trying to add historical context, and in the process revealed that they apparently did not have a single comic book reader in the entire building (or access to Wikipedia, for that matter). They referred to Black Canary as an older character (true) that had recently received an overhaul (true-ish) in the pages of “All-Star Batman” (not so true) courtesy of writer Frank Miller and artist Jim Lee and now looked much tartier than in her original incarnation (lies, damnable lies).
All this in what I took to be an effort to support the premise that the Black Canary Barbie was emulating her slutty four-color analog. I reckon Fredric Wertham is somewhere, smiling approvingly.

Black Canary as she originally appeared

Black Canary as she currently appears in “All-Star Batman”

Black Canary as she appears in in-continuity DC titles (don’t ask me to explain it)

The Black Canary Barbie doll

But even as the media implicitly denounces comic as still very much trashy non-art for emotionally arrested teen boys, it occasionally deigns to examine how comics have matured over the years, using the new “Dark Knight” movie as a springboard to launch the discussion. They name drop “Watchmen” and “Maus” and Neil Gaiman’s “Sandman” and yes, Frank Miller’s “The Dark Knight Returns” as evidence of the medium’s growth and maturity. They refer to comics by their more pretentious alias, “graphic novels.” And how do they grab the audience’s attention to make sure we’re all paying attention to their dissertation on the maturity of comic books?
“Bam! Pow! Comics aren’t for kids anymore!”
Yes, they invoke the campy Adam West “Batman” TV show, in many ways the most enduring, most-recognizable-among-baby-boomers, yet least contemporary touchstone reference available. Ironic that the very character now prompting renewed discussion of comics’ maturity is also responsible for the enduring stereotype of comics as a garish, simplistic medium suitable only for telling brainless slam-bang adventure yarns.
They did it in the late 1980s/early 1990s when the aforementioned titles burst onto the scene and showed the uninformed masses what comic books could do as a storytelling medium, and now they’re doing it again. Do a Google News search using the terms “Batman” and “Pow” and see what pops up. It’s depressing.
No, it’s frustrating. For years, the comic book industry has endeavored to elevate its profile and stature in American culture, and yeah, it’s come a long way, but comics are still the proverbial redheaded stepchild of entertainment. The Ice Capades gets more respect.
As Neil Gaiman once remarked, pictures without words is called “art.” Words without picture is called “literature.” Why is words and pictures working together synergistically called “crap”?
Well? Why is it?

Generally speaking, it’s usually wise to hedge your bets. Sometimes, however, it’s not only unwise but a bit dicey.
A couple of people sent me a copy of a recent story in the Nantucket Inquirer & Mirror, about Timothy Madden taking what you might call a bifurcated approach to his campaign for state representative of the Barnstable, Dukes, and Nantucket district. Mr. Madden is officially running as an unenrolled candidate, but he is also running a write-in campaign as a Democratic candidate.
His explanation: he is a Democrat at heart and would have run as such to begin with, but missed the deadline to formally change his party affiliation.
“There’s no question I am a Democrat. It’s what I believe in and it’s the party where you can be most effective on Beacon Hill,” Mr. Madden said in an interview with the Inquirer & Mirror. “It’s also kind of my way of letting people know that I am a Democrat, and I’m running as a Democrat. It might give some Democrats comfort so they know where I’m coming from, and appreciate the extra effort I’m putting in.”
Or they may look at it as you trying to play the system to your advantage. If Mr. Madden fails to beat the four other Democrats running in the primaries, he’s still on the ballot as an unenrolled candidate. If he does win, he’s on the ballot as a Democrat, and has one fewer opponent in November to boot. For the first leg of the race, he is truly in a win-win situation.
Granted, it would be better for his campaign to have the formal backing of the Democratic Party, but at this stage of the game, Mr. Madden will have to play serious catch-up to stand a snowball’s chance of scoring a primary win as a Democrat.
The other four gents — Daniel J. Larkosh, Timothy Lasker, David Moriarty, and Roger W. Wey — have been on the campaign trail as full-fledged Democrats for some time, and have already made one high-profile appearance at a recent debate in Falmouth (Mr. Madden was, notably, absent from that event). You can bet there’re going to make an issue of Mr. Madden’s quasi-Democratic status.
Intentions aside, Mr. Madden is not playing a fair game in pursuing dual candidacy. I’ll wait to see if Mr. Madden does what I would call the honorable thing and puts an end to his Democratic write-in bid, or if he’ll keep reading from the Joe Lieberman playbook.

Mr. Wey, by the way, is holding a campaign fundraiser on the island next week. His is at the Oyster Bar on Tuesday, June 22 from 4 PM to 6 PM.
Now, to briefly address a less pleasant issue: Mr. Wey’s son, Timothy G. Wey, was arrested in Falmouth last week on an outstanding warrant, that warrant issued on a heroin possession charge.
I spoke to Mr. Wey and he said this is something his son and his family has dealt with for years, and I don’t doubt it; heroin is one of the most addictive illegal substances out there and has a very high relapse rate.
One study cited by the US Department of Health and Humans Services, which monitored about 1,800 male heroin users in rehab, indicated that 68 percent of those users had some sort of serious relapse. Only 18 percent made it through without a single relapse.
I sincerely hope and trust that Mr. Wey’s opponents will treat this issue with the respect it deserves. More importantly, I hope his opponents’ supporters will not take it upon themselves to try and turn this into a campaign issue, because it’s not.
Getting off my soapbox now…

Sheila V. Lyons, Democratic candidate for the Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners, has announced a series of “meet the candidate” fundraiser events throughout the summer. The first one is scheduled for Wednesday in Provincetown.
For those who don’t feel like making the long drive, head over to the Flying Bridge in Falmouth on Wednesday, July 30. That runs from 5:30 PM to 7:30 PM. State Representative Matthew C. Patrick (D – Falmouth) is the evening’s special guest.
Each event comes with a suggested donation of $25 to benefit Ms. Lyons’ campaign. For more information call 508-246-0610 or contact Olga Kahn at olgakahn@comcast.net
PS: the name “Olga Kahn” is simply awesome. Just sayin’.

If you’re on the Vineyard next weekend, the aforementioned Mr. Larkosh is holding a fundraiser at the Cleveland House. That’s on Saturday, July 26 from 5 PM to 7 PM, and will feature live jazz. For more information, pop on over to Mr. Larkosh’s new campaign website. It’s a little snowblinding, visually speaking, and light on content, but Mr. Larkosh is promising frequent updates and more content down the road.
I met Mr. Larkosh Monday for what is becoming my ongoing series of informal chats at Coffee Obsession, and amidst the chit-chat about issues and politics and the value of well-placed “Gilligan’s Island” references, he informed me he had scored an early endorsement from that Matt Patrick guy I just mentioned.
“He’s demonstrated a significant amount of political leadership,” Mr. Patrick said during a brief phone interview. Referring to Mr. Larkosh’s legal career, Mr. Patrick added, “He’s been an advocate for the little guy for quite a while on Martha’s Vineyard.”

Ed O’Reilly, Democratic candidate for US Senate, has re-launched his campaign website at www.edoreilly.com. Not sure if it’s an improvement over the old site in terms of looks or content, it just looks different. I’d call it a wash, if not a waste of time and money to so weakly re-invent the site.

THIS WEEK’S ON-LINE BONUS: You know you’ve been waiting for it: Jib-Jab’s latest political musical satire!

Political news, events, and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net